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Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 03:23
by glowjack177
Murphy's law
(PR edition)
by grenadetrap and solosniper-tk

1. PR will not always be teamwork, kills ,or points-but it is always walking.

2. Teamwork is important, it gives the enemy more targets to shoot at.

3. The best players are stalkers ; unseen, patient, observative, and seemly safe.

4. Pro-players are careful, methodical and predictable, unfortunately noobs are everywhere.

5. Tracers work both ways.

6. Overkill never is, when in doubt fire off the rest of your clip.

7. Never break the ridgeline, it offers a clear point to shoot at.

8. Rooftops and mountaintops offer great views, unfortunately it works both ways.

9. Rooftops are prime real-estate: good view, open ,spacious ,great outdoor air, and perfect shooting galleries.

10. Mine everything.

11. 9 out of 10 people on insurgency enjoy baserape, the 10th being BLUFOR.

12. Your dead body probably won't change things, so going back to where you died is just asking for it; flank or defend.

13. Flanking is your best alternative, the other being death.

14. The map is your best friend, why? Because tkers don't have friends.

15. Explosives are quite deadly, even more so when they're covered, enemies under fire are more likely to make mistakes and overlook traps, furthermore mines can be disarmed and grenadetraps can be crawled under a little cover fire makes non-violent solutions unlikely.

16. When bypassing mines and grenadetraps, always remember there's always bit a of lag; prone a bit early or drive slowly.

17. Windows are your friend, they offer cover for a good deal of your body and have the fastest way to cover; proning.

18. Never spawn at caches, always defer to an hideout if possible.

19. Offense is the worst place you can be, fighting enemies with better positions , time to set up, and ammo crates ready.

20. Mines and IEDs are shy creatures, so keep them in depressions, boxes, dark places, and trash piles.

21. The strings of grenadetraps are taken from the chain-link fences, that is why there are convenient holes in the fence near objectives. The strings are also the most visible part of the grenadetrap, now what would be the chances that the strings blend perfectly into the mesh of the chain-link fences?

22. The key to vehicle combat is ambush, always flank.

23. Any good driver would take proper care of his vehicle, such as turning off the engine when idling, save the environment, save your ears, and save your life.

24. When going around a corner or ridge always have the driver get out and check on foot, this reduces the risk of ambush , provides intel on where to shoot, and riskes only one ticket.

25. Humvees are fragile cowards, so let the infantry take the pain while the humvee supports and flanks.

26. Humvees are also naked, so have some decency and cover them up behind a low wall or something.

27. It is a little known fact that on the driver's seat of every armoured vehicle there is a safety manual. It goes something like: When your being shot at run, run to fight in more favourable terms. If cover /escape is not available then hold steady for your gunner so you stand a chance. Otherwise your just a running tin can.

28. LAVs are most vulnerable at the rear (just the way I like it) and its common courtesy not to show your back to others.

29. Deviation is just like sprint, you can waste it or store it for when its most needed. If your pretty sure there are hostiles around the corner don't go around and try to rambo them, instead wait 5 seconds beside the corner for max accuracy and then go around the corner in a second, this way you would have an extra 4 seconds of accuracy.

30. Civis are just like pedophiles, they lure children with the promises of treats and rewards then butt-rape them, instead beat them at their own game by luring pedophiles with children with nice retainers waiting around the corner.

31. Mines are not only deadly ambushers, they are also area denial weapons, place them in the open to channel enemies into killzones.

32. Civi rushes are just rushes at 300m+.

33. Grenadetraps love doors, stairs, ladders and fences. They hate places where people can jump over them.

34. Just like a bar you can't take HATs and Snipers out of the main on insurgency; the penalty for disagreement is an injection of several grams of lead straight to the brain .

35. In an effort to train better snipers the new sniper kit's clip display is actually how many bullets avalible as opposed to clips, in response snipers now only aim for high priorty targets and report all enemies as they're bored and started chatting.

36. Reloading is like a dirty magazine, it should be done when your safe and out of sight, its always longer than necessary, and it should never be done in a group.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 04:47
by CodeRedFox
I'm sorry but this is pure comical gold, moved to general discussion! :lol:

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 04:56
by mangeface
I read this and fell in love.........for the first time........ever.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 04:57
by Silly_Savage
37. The week v0.9 is released, your computer inevitably takes a giant dump and refuses to start up.

Old, albeit similar?

Am I in the ball park on this one, or has it completely gone over my head? :|

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 05:14
by Outlawz7
Silly_Savage wrote: Old, albeit similar?

Am I in the ball park on this one, or has it completely gone over my head? :|
Was going to say.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 09:19
by HangMan_
This is absolutely awesome mate, good work :D Please give us more!

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 09:39
by Gaz
glowjack177 wrote:
Murphy's law
(PR edition)
by grenadetrap and solosniper-tk

11. 9 out of 10 people on insurgency enjoy baserape, the 10th being BLUFOR.

36. Reloading is like a dirty magazine, it should be done when your safe and out of sight, its always longer than necessary, and it should never be done in a group.
The best :D

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 09:51
by Orford
Nice work.

Could be put to music like that sunscreen song.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 12:19
by Frosty56
30. Civis are just like pedophiles, they lure children with the promises of treats and rewards then butt-rape them, instead beat them at their own game by luring pedophiles with children with nice retainers waiting around the corner.

'


Love that one

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 12:34
by Hitperson
sticky this thing!!

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 13:07
by glowjack177
Thxs for the positive feedback guys, although this was intended to be a guide and in the infantry tatics forum.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 13:12
by ma21212
I was gonna post about this....oh well, too lazy *eats pizza* This is the Red Orchestra version, if you ever played that game (skip to the bottem page)

http://www.redorchestragame.com/downloa ... _Guide.pdf

The guide itself is an interesting read if you got time to spare though

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 13:22
by [uBp]Irish
I thought murphy's law was more like:

Your medic or SL are always the first people dead.

The Transport Helo with the only squad going to cap the next flag will inevitably be shot down or impact a tree.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 14:35
by ViperHummel
*NwA*Orford wrote:Nice work.

Could be put to music like that sunscreen song.
Wow. Now that's a reference I never would have expected!

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 14:45
by Sir.Grossi
'[uBp wrote:Irish;1277603']I thought murphy's law was more like:

Your medic or SL are always the first people dead.

The Transport Helo with the only squad going to cap the next flag will inevitably be shot down or impact a tree.
Exactly

"N. Murphy's Law; If something can go wrong it will"

Great work nonetheless :smile:

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 16:15
by Arnoldio
Some of them arent really "murphys laws" but still funny :D

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 16:30
by lagopus
38. If you can't kill it, leave it alone, or it WILL kill you.

Am I wrong or was that sentence in the loadingscreen? I always get the image of soldier chasing a tank with a knife when i read that sentence.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 16:43
by steve_06-07
Lag is the server's way of telling you to NOT fly that vehicle.

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 17:55
by Redamare
hnaha make a Poster :D ull make Trillions :P

Re: Murphy's law (PR edition)

Posted: 2010-02-24 18:47
by CodeRedFox
glowjack177 wrote:Thxs for the positive feedback guys, although this was intended to be a guide and in the infantry tatics forum.

I can move it back if you want, but this is really funny.