Tales of Smacktardery

Cerberus · Post by **Cerberus** » 2007-04-08 05:59

I'll begin...

I was playing on Gulf of Oman WAC as MEC and there was a disturbingly low number of U.S. attacks staged on the beachhead... by the time the enemy had ten tickets, I took the Mi-28 and flew over to the carrier to see what was going on... squad one had been raping the USMC for just about the entire round while maintaining a rally point on the ship. I then exclaimed, "don't rape their base, idiots," while squad one's benevolent leader gave this retort:

"It's called ownage, and you failed at it."

There is no doubt in my mind that that is something a nine year old would say.

[PTG]Z.user · Post by **[PTG]Z.user** » 2007-04-08 07:28

Muttrah City

Jojned half way through the round on the Us side to find that one smackturd was sitting in the AA blowing the **** out of all the Choppers and killing anyone who spawned on the deck of the carrier..he had something like -200 and still wasnt kicked.

I typed in caps.."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT"

to which he replied

"YOU'RE MOM IS GAY"

He got a heavy AT to the ***..little shit.
There was no option to kick vote him either.

ArmedDrunk&Angry · Post by **ArmedDrunk&Angry** » 2007-04-08 11:08

Wasteland's PSM program is very useful on Basrah, I don't know how useful it would be on Oman or Muttrah but a modification is in order.

mrmong · Post by **mrmong** » 2007-04-08 11:14

i should turn 'opt out of voting off'

Cerberus · Post by **Cerberus** » 2007-04-09 15:53

There are some people who simply shouldn't play this mod...

I flanked this guy on Muttrah in the warehouse who was shooting at my teammates. He somehow had the situation awareness to know that I was there, despite a box blocking his view... I took up aim in my ironsights while he proceeded to run at me (I was right down the stairs) and jump over me. Then, due to the sensitivity while in ironsights mode, I couldn't turn to shoot him.

Blackhawk 5 · Post by **Blackhawk 5** » 2007-04-09 15:57

In the begginning of 0.5 on muttrah, People getting birds without kit, diying, if they did they did the flip and crash. 8 or 9 people crammed into the littlebird, ended up pilot getsa ll the teamkills.

Cherni · Post by **Cherni** » 2007-04-09 21:01

Cerberus tried to tell me these thigs over xfire, while I was on CoH multiplayer and I was "into it" so I kept saying STFU NOOB while he kept yammering about it. lol Cerberus your almost as much of an attention whore as Garabaldi

lol

Cerberus · Post by **Cerberus** » 2007-04-09 21:25

He jumped over me ffs! That's bull****!

youm0nt · Post by **youm0nt** » 2007-04-09 21:46

Well, I hope the devs read this and disable enemy squad leaders to putting up rally points on ships...

BlackwaterEddie · Post by **BlackwaterEddie** » 2007-04-09 21:54

Smacktardery, me sniping on staircase (and quite well id like to think

) when i notice 10 blokes standing at the foot of the stairs looking up at me, i look down, get shot in the head, and watch as the 10 guys start fighting over my sniper rifle in a mad frenzy

Wasteland · Post by **Wasteland** » 2007-04-09 22:09

I had the M95 in Al Basrah, with a spec ops escort (we'd trade off being sniper and escort). He went to check out a possible rooftop, and got wasted unfortunately (the area was incredibly hot, more than one squad of insurgents all gunning for him). I was trying to help him out, shooting guys as they saw him. So they knew where I was. I was killed soon after. Then in the kill cam I see someone grab my kit (as I'd expect), and then see another guy take aim and fire on his teammate, obviously with the intention of stealing the kit! Amazing, these tards are. One "!k n00b-name smack" later and all was at peace again.

ArmedDrunk&Angry · Post by **ArmedDrunk&Angry** » 2007-04-10 00:15

LMAO
sucks when an Admin is watching on deathcam.
But speaking of smacktardery, if you can't eliminate a RP on the carrier you suck.
I hate to so blunt but the whole US team should be able to control the carrier.
A pirate team is only useful to distract the US, if they can't get off the carrier then they have nothing better to do than kill the enemy.

.:iGi:. Eggenberg4Ever · Post by **.:iGi:. Eggenberg4Ever** » 2007-04-10 00:19

I seem to spend half my time agreeing with your posts ArmedDrunk&Angry so let's not make this any exception.
Agreed! With bells on

ArmedDrunk&Angry · Post by **ArmedDrunk&Angry** » 2007-04-10 00:51

LOL
TY

SGT.Collado · Post by **SGT.Collado** » 2007-04-10 02:14

Name: Bill Gates

I was flying the A10 with my squad buddy and we were doing formation. Out of the blue, windows minimizes and the windows advantage tells me to activate. My game then crashes. Jesus, I hate Bill Gates.

SCREW YOU BILL GATES YOU SMACKTARD!!!!

Wasteland · Post by **Wasteland** » 2007-04-10 02:35

Mr. McAfee's just as bad.

Wasteland · Post by **Wasteland** » 2007-04-10 14:21

Here's a good tale of smacktardery. The first night I was admin on the DevFile server, I was driving a dirtbike through the streets of Al Basrah, ready to jihad a tank. Some idiots come sprinting out of an alley right as I pass by, and I swerve to miss them. But aparently I clipped one of them. I didn't kill him, and he wasn't bleeding out. But he and his friend decided this was so offensive of me that one of them started firing his AK at me, and the other hit me with a rocket. Real smart guys.

"What the hell did you guys do that for?"

"You almost killed us!"

"You *did* kill me you tards!"

"Be more careful next time f4g!"

"!k tweedledee smack
!k tweedledumb smack"

El_Vikingo · Post by **El_Vikingo** » 2007-04-10 15:53

My G7, when it runs out of battery; The warning comes up.( I can change the battery in less than 1 seconds!; Only I dont have to **** it. Those who have a G7 will understand).

The avast update! Scares the shit out of me; "Virus database has been updated!" Full volume.

SCUBAKev · Post by **SCUBAKev** » 2007-04-11 14:00

SMacktardeyr:

One the DEVFile server, there was a player called Clint SOUTHWood.

He played on the USMC team and just kept spamming the global chat for help, he couldn't fly a helicopter or plane. While we tried to explain to him how to get it, he just kept saying more stupid things. We then asked if he even look oat the player manual, to which he said something like 'I don't read that $h!t'.
He was then pwned many times by Insurgents.

CodeSpartan · Post by **CodeSpartan** » 2007-04-14 01:30

El_Vikingo wrote: The avast update! Scares the shit out of me; "Virus database has been updated!" Full volume.

I feel ya, man, I hate that thing.

We were on that map with the carrier and the dam (excuse me, I'm terrible with names) and this one guy just kept getting the helicopter over and over, despite the fact that he simply could not fly worth a damn. I mean he would fill up with guys, then proceed to crash before reaching land every time he took off. Worse, he would teamkill for the chopper. His score was somewhere below -50 when we started bugging the apathetic admin, who did nothing.
Plenty of players told us to "stop whining", though.
Haven't really ever gone back to that server.