Map Description Rewrites

gclark03 · Post by **gclark03** » 2008-04-26 00:51

I've discussed this with Masaq (IIRC), and after much consideration, this is the best method of reaching out to all of you that I could think of.

I need every mapper whose map has appeared in .7 or is due to appear in .8 to send me a private message so that I can revise the map descriptions and send them to you quickly, without cluttering the forums any more than I already have. The purpose of this thread is not only to reach out to you in the fastest possible way, but to gauge the popular opinion of PR players: do you think the map descriptions could use some editing for grammar or simply trimming down, or do you think they should be left alone?

Post by **GeZe** » 2008-04-26 01:22

The Jabal one is complete BS and needs to be re-done completely. It is completely contradictory to the image of the MEC as a professional army.

Post by **OkitaMakoto** » 2008-04-26 01:52

Mine's still in the works, but I think I can handle it, as even I always find some of them a bit odd in grammar and scenario. I'll keep this in mind though.

Post by **Rudd** » 2008-04-26 01:55

I was always dismayed at the spelling mistakes on seven gates.

gclark03 · Post by **gclark03** » 2008-04-26 02:12

The Al Basrah map description is a convoluted paragraph of unnecessary information, redundant phrases, and pretenses ("bringing peace back to the city so that it may be returned to the Iraqi people") which ultimately fails at its presumable goal of informing the player of the map's objectives and the means of completing them.

I don't mean any offense or belittlement to Rhino (or is it IronTaxi who did Basrah?) or any other mapper, but I understand that writing isn't everyone's interest in life. I'm only doing this because writing is my career interest, and I thought I might put that interest to use for PR in whatever way possible, no matter how minor.

Post by **Rhino** » 2008-04-26 02:32

gclark03 wrote:The Al Basrah map description is a convoluted paragraph of unnecessary information, redundant phrases, and pretenses ("bringing peace back to the city so that it may be returned to the Iraqi people") which ultimately fails at its presumable goal of informing the player of the map's objectives and the means of completing them.

I don't mean any offense or belittlement to Rhino (or is it IronTaxi who did Basrah?) or any other mapper, but I understand that writing isn't everyone's interest in life. I'm only doing this because writing is my career interest, and I thought I might put that interest to use for PR in whatever way possible, no matter how minor.

.... duckhunt made Al Basrah, UK_Force, one of our British Military Advisers did the brief for Al Basrah and its perfectly fine. You have the "Game Mode" box to explain the objectives of the map, as the objectives can change very much from each game mode, and layer a map has.

Jabal is one of the few maps that I would say needs a 100% new brief, but really most of them are perfectly fine.

agentscar · Post by **agentscar** » 2008-04-26 02:37

Yea,Basrah description is fine,Jabal needs re-done.

Eddiereyes909 · Post by **Eddiereyes909** » 2008-04-26 02:44

Dr2B Rudd wrote:I'm was always dismayed at the spelling mistakes on Seven Gates.

ahem

Post by **Rudd** » 2008-04-26 02:50

Eddiereyes909 wrote:ahem

its on baby....ITS ON!

Originally Posted by Eddiereyes909
I'm was always dismayed at the spelling mistakes on Seven Gates.

eh wut?

gclark03 · Post by **gclark03** » 2008-04-26 03:00

Ah, yes, DuckHunt - forgot about him. Sorry!

Anyway, this is how I would have written the Basrah description:

"After days of hard combat, Al Basrah has fallen into Insurgent hands. Operating from Basrah International Airport, HQ MND SW, in cooperation with the 2nd Royal Army and Light Dragoon Recce forces, must clear the city of Insurgent weapon caches in order to cripple the Insurgency's ability to resist Coalition control of the region.

Your objective is either to defend or destroy at least 9 weapon caches . Caches can be found with Intelligence Points, which are gained by killing Insurgents, inspecting their kits, arresting Civilians, and destroying caches. Your team will be defeated if 9 caches or all tickets are depleted."

This is the kind of editing I'm looking at - simplifying, and bringing forth more key information.

HughJass · Post by **HughJass** » 2008-04-26 03:01

I'm thinking I will relate my map

https://www.realitymod.com/forum/f66-co ... -pics.html

(if it makes it in) to OGT.

Eddiereyes909 · Post by **Eddiereyes909** » 2008-04-26 03:06

Dr2B Rudd wrote:I'ts on baby....I'TS ON!

what?

Fine.

To any mod, if this is spam, I'm sure Rudd and I could just argue over Xfire or TS.

agentscar · Post by **agentscar** » 2008-04-26 03:06

Eh...that sounds ight,but I like current one...

Post by **Rudd** » 2008-04-26 03:13

Eddiereyes909 wrote:Fine.

To any mod, if this is spam, I'm sure Rudd and I could just argue over Xfire or TS.

Looks like we both have no spelling capability, I withdraw my comment about Seven Gates until I have redone primary school and learned my ABCs....

Regarding Al Basrah, surely one of the military advisers is a better choice for providing a plausible and realistic background; therefore the current version is fine.

Eddiereyes909 · Post by **Eddiereyes909** » 2008-04-26 03:18

Yeah, but while it might be fine, it is too long and redundant, i think it should be changed. Besides, giving me something new to read would be great!

IAJTHOMAS · Post by **IAJTHOMAS** » 2008-04-26 11:33

Some of them have a few spelling/style issues, nothing major, but a look over would do no harm. One or two need an overhaul.

Also, the Basarah on suggested sounds more like a description of the game mode, rather than a map description/background. There is a separate box to explain what you're meant to be doing in the game mode, I'd keep them separate for clarity reasons.